wednesday marks the two month anniversary of my search for an apartment.
the past week of this, in particular, has been particularly fraught. i've met with at least one agent a day the whole week, and when i found out on tuesday after benefits training that i lost a lovely one bedroom around the corner from my current sublet, on line street, i started crying at work. (yes, it was in the elevator. but it was still two weeks into the job; i need to get it together.)
then i realized that i was trying to cheat despite myself. if i am willing to wait months before buying a couch, shouldn't i take the same care with choosing a house? remembering to take the time isn't the problem: i have been. i am not willing to settle for anything less than lovely on this. what i need to do now is admit to myself that whatever i find that is worthwhile is going to take time, and accept that, and love it instead of panicking.
i need to stop despairing and trust that it will come, and that i will know it when i see it. (and that everything will align so that i can take it when i see it. as my mom keeps calling from her vacation in ghana to tell me, i only need one apartment.)
does this mean i will have roommates and sublet for longer?
does it also increase the chances that i will get exactly what i need and make it work?
when i find it, you can be the judge.