wednesday marks the two month anniversary of my search for an apartment.
the past week of this, in particular, has been particularly fraught. i've met with at least one agent a day the whole week, and when i found out on tuesday after benefits training that i lost a lovely one bedroom around the corner from my current sublet, on line street, i started crying at work. (yes, it was in the elevator. but it was still two weeks into the job; i need to get it together.)
then i realized that i was trying to cheat despite myself. if i am willing to wait months before buying a couch, shouldn't i take the same care with choosing a house? remembering to take the time isn't the problem: i have been. i am not willing to settle for anything less than lovely on this. what i need to do now is admit to myself that whatever i find that is worthwhile is going to take time, and accept that, and love it instead of panicking.
i need to stop despairing and trust that it will come, and that i will know it when i see it. (and that everything will align so that i can take it when i see it. as my mom keeps calling from her vacation in ghana to tell me, i only need one apartment.)
does this mean i will have roommates and sublet for longer?
yes.
does it also increase the chances that i will get exactly what i need and make it work?
when i find it, you can be the judge.
lady lady
- adwoa
- Cambridge, MA, United States
- One day in my eleventh grade Theory of Knowledge class, we were having a discussion on the allegory of the cave. It was very earnest, with lots of sixteen year old angst about whether or not we could ever Really See The True Nature Of Things. About midway through the debate, I raised my hand and said “But… isn’t there any value to be gained from looking at the shadows themselves?”
Crickets ensued.
Two years later, I left for college and discovered semiotics.
I care passionately about: design, cooking, clothing, bodies of water, sunglasses, and classiness in all of its many forms.
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