Saturday, June 27, 2009

why i have disappeared!

this doesn't mean that my house and i have fallen off a cliff. far from it!

i've been guest blogging over at keyse's space, crocodile tears, which is incredibly fun and where a lot of my design passions are going. i started a photo blog and subsequently began taking a photography class, both of which i'm having a lot of fun with. i was so precious about photography for so long (thinking i needed to be invited to join the membership of the exclusive Photographer's Club by proving my worth, and that without that validation i had no business taking pictures) that it's been really refreshing and healing to me to let those barriers fall.

it's also summer in boston, meaning i actually have a life again! i've found, among many other things:

- the credenza of my dreams (a broyhill brasilia behemoth)
- a great new desk chair, a hot kidney-shaped coffee table
- a crazy boudoir chair that i'm using in my kitchen
- a beautiful vintage typewriter, and
- not one but five inspiring new lamps.

but i think more important than documenting tiny projects and things (although that IS interesting, and i still believe it has merit) is the fact that i've just started to live my life in a twig by twig sort of way. i'm waiting, doing business pretty much only with buyers and sellers i have a good feeling about, not spending too far beyond my means (though this month is a bad example of that!) i've had a tendency for most of my life to live to extremes, and the growth of the past year has had everything to do with learning to be okay with moving slowly.

i'm a gardener now, both here and at the mit community garden: proud parent of many succulents, three sweet potato vines, two tomato plants, two kinds of basil, peppers and eggplant. (perversely, my eggplant is my favorite and most beloved plant, even though i hate eggplants themselves. but his leaves are so furry and cute!)

i'm paying off my credit card debt, by making small deposits every week, and then larger and larger ones as i gained confidence that i could do something on a regular basis and stay committed to it. i'm teaching my stretching class again and loving it, and being given even more freedom and responsibility at work. i'm getting into collaborative projects outside of work which i'm really excited about.

and so i think i need to say goodbye for now. this isn't a new or radical philosophy for me anymore - it's just the way i live my life. but i'm so grateful that i documented all of this when things were uncertain and i wasn't sure how i was going to grow into the type of person who could do this project successfully. i have so many ideas that are coming to fruition now, and i can't wait to post pictures of my apartment here when it's done!